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Tuesday, April 21st, 2015
4:31 pm
the realization that everything needed is within and seeking it externally isn't necessary
perhaps the clouds have gathered because of a shift in weather patterns
a new friend a new group a new focus
drawing me from the mundane

perhaps I'm just tired
no person is what he appears to be
and the protector of justice doesn't do her job
the seeker of truth was sad today
because he realized that nothing is what it seems
and nobody is true to themselves or anyone else

feeling clouded by lack of motivation
feeling ill and slow
finding the will within to let go of free will
follow the will of the universe

disguised in everyday plain clothes
smile with the vigor of enlightenment

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Wednesday, November 19th, 2014
3:09 pm - Something warm and a triangle break
I don't know a whole lot about Chinese medicine but I do know that the philosophy is warmth=health.  While I agree with this somewhat, I still think humans are adaptable so there's no reason to keep the thermostat above 67 in the winter...hence, we wear layers when we're sitting around.  Anyway, there's nothing quite like a hot beverage to warm the body when chilled.

So, coffee.  It's really a personal preference, but I don't recommend drinking more than 1 cup a day.  I know, I know, Dr. Oz says that having 3+ cups a day can be good...I just disagree.  The caffeine increases heart rate and blood pressure and can add undo stress to the body, especially when we're trying to avoid the avoidable stress during the holidays.  That said, I hate to give up my morning cup of joe, so I'm not saying give it up all together, just cut back.  Have one cup before noon and instead of having the afternoon cup, have herbal tea or warm water with a squeeze of lemon, lime or orange.

So what happens when you hit that afternoon brick wall that says, "Have another cup of coffee" or "eat a sugary carby snack"?  Your answer=Triangle pose or utthita trikonasana.  It's a great way to wake up!  If you don't have space in your office, find a little corner where you can be alone for a minute...that's all you need.  30 seconds per side.

I was going to try to type out how to do it but I'll give you a link.  It's the best way to wake up in the afternoon!

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Thursday, November 13th, 2014
2:41 pm - Sunshine and Cardio
Yesterday it was dreary in the morning.  The fog was thick and it was DARK.  I noticed because there was a moment on my way to work where I just didn't want to continue living.  I know that sounds dramatic, but with my history of depression, these thoughts happen more than I would like to admit.  The difference now is that I recognize them immediately and can usually narrow down a source quickly and do my best to redirect the thought pattern to a more positive one.  Thus, these dark moment are just moments...

Anyway, I realized that we are a little over a month out from the shortest day of the year.  The sun is setting and it's close to dark as I drive home and if I don't get my sunshine in the morning, I really notice. (Sorry to those of you, [Kim] who have darkness on the way to and from work in the winter).

I do have a job where I can get out at lunchtime and get a few moments of sunshine if I need to...and if the sun is out.  I've also noticed that cardio can be a decent substitute for my mood.  Now I know that most of you aren't as insane about cardio as I am and most of you can go several days in row without running at least 5 miles, unlike me....  I'm actually trying to cut back for fear of destroying my body, by cutting back, I mean I'm still running 5 miles a day but complaining more about my foot and knee, just like my mother...  But yes, some light cardio such as walking or dancing can really boost the mood.  The best kind of winter cardio is going outside for a brisk walk when the sun is out for at least 15 minutes and allowing the light to get into the retinas.  So that means take the sunglasses off..  Also, get your vitamin D by taking your gloves off and allowing the sun to touch your hands.  Most of us wear daily sunblock (as we should) on our faces, but this means that a lot of us begin to show signs of Vitamin D deficiency, especially in the winter.  The best source of Vitamin D is naturally occuring when the Sun's UV rays interact with our skin.  So yeah, pills don't really cut it.

Vitamin D is very important and they are finding more negative health related things linked to Vitamin D deficiency, such as cancer, cognitive impairment as you age, and increased risk of DEATH due to cardiovascular disease (that's WebMD's way of saying you'll drop dead from a heart attack)

So in addition to your lunch, find a few minutes to get outside in the Sun.  And if you can't get outside during lunch, put on some music and dance around your living room for 20 minutes.  You'll definitely feel better and less suicidal.  Although you could just skip it all and die a quick death from a heart attack. ;)

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2:14 pm - More on Sugar
This article is simple but pretty much puts a little more perspective on the damaging effects of sugar:

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Monday, November 10th, 2014
5:01 pm - Make a List but don't check it twice
"The Holidays" get crazy as we all know.  Things are starting to happen and for the next several weeks we'll find ourselves in a tailspin of chaotic activity.  It often happens to me that the holidays come and go and I *wanted* to do so many things that just never happened or I never seemed to have a chance to do them.

This is where the list comes in handy.  List making isn't for everyone, but I find it to be almost theraputic, if not an entirely helpful way to organize my thoughts.  And I like to make lists on a piece of paper with a pen or pencil, not on my phone.  Do whatever works for you, but organize your list into categories.

1.  Make a list of things you would like to do and organize them in order of importance.
For example:

Longwood Gardens to see the lights,
decorate the front of the house,
put up the tree,

These are things you would like to do but the world isn't going to end if they don't happen.  I like to do this list first because you may end up writing down way more things than what is actually physically possible...but the act of actually writing them makes them more real and having written them means you can usually narrow down the top three which makes them much more accessible.

2.  Make a list of the social engagements that are mainly optional and again put them in order of importance to you:

Friends arrive!-December 19th
Party-December 12th
Work Luncheon-December 23rd
Church with mom-December 24th

3.  Make a list of the chores that need doing but that you really don't feel like doing.  I like to save this for last because it can be so daunting and after you've already thought of the fun stuff, you can usually narrow down the chores that absolutely need to be taken care of without letting the stress of it take over.

Rake the yard before Mother comes to visit
Clean out the closets
Christmas shopping

Obviously, depending on how much of a list maker you are, you may want to make a list of gifts you need to purchase so you can keep track.  I have failed to do this in the past and I think it's worth a shot this year...

So after you've made your lists, put them somewhere where you might see them, like the fridge, but don't worry about carrying them around with you.  Just the sheer act of having written your thoughts down will help to ease a little bit of the stress of worrying about all the things you have to do.  It's almost like now that it's on paper, you don't have to carry the thoughts around in your brain for a little know the lists are there to remember for you.  Consult them from time to time to see if you're where you would like to be, but don't beat yourself up if things don't get done...because they won't.

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Friday, November 7th, 2014
4:22 pm - Re-evaluating Beliefs About Myself
I happened upon a blog a few weeks ago in a moment of contemplation.  I decided to subscribe and recieved an update last weekend via email:

I read it last Saturday and thought about it all week.  Though I have been on a seemingly endless journey seeking enlightnment, and I consider myself a well educated and "wealthy" individual in the sense that I'm not hungry, or unsheltered and I have access to the nicer things in life.  Most Americans are "wealthy" in comparison to much of the rest of the world, so ask me for a loan. ;)  Essentially, I haven't updated certain beliefs in a very long time.  The one that I struggle with the most, is the belief that I'm not good enough (smart enough, pretty enough, motivated enough, THIN enough, etc...the list goes on).  I know it sounds very cliche and almost adolescent, but it's a prevalent belief among many people. I'd say most people have this belief at some point in their lives...and that got me thinking.

So if what I believe about myself moulds who I am, then what's to say that my negative beliefs about myself aren't moulding my body, mind, and spirit?  I think this is where a lot of deep thinkers fall short, in that the deep thinkers are looking outside of themselves for answeres, as I have been incredibly guilty of this.  Even yoga somehow didn't open my eyes to this entirely.  It's all about updating my beliefs about myself.  If I'm on auto-pilot to think that I'm not good enough, then I won't's simple, right?  So if I'm constantly battling my own worst enemy, myself, where is there room for growth?  There really isn't.  I go in circles because I never really break free of those beliefs.  They are deep and they are strong.

Then I read this other article about modern day dieting:

It essentially re-affirmed the fact that I have not re-assesed my beliefs about myself the way that I have battled with myself over my weight for years because I'm never truly happy with it.  I mean, I KNOW that diets don't work because they are hard to maintain...but the reasons that I gain the weight back is because of my beliefs about myself and it doesn't have to continue to be this way.

I mean, I shouldn't complain...I've never been obese.  I've only hovered on the overweight line and I generally sit comfortably on the high end of healthy weight, pushing the maximum density during the holidays.  But I always feel like crap about myself if I gain a pound, then I feel good if I lose, until I get sick of eating lettuce and then I gain again.  This is years of beliefs; decades, centuries, passed down by my mother, and her mother before, and on and on about how a woman should look, behave, and exist.

Anyway, I hope this stirs you to re-evaluate your beliefs and specifically your beliefs about yourself.

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Wednesday, November 5th, 2014
11:08 am - The Holidays
It's "The Holidays" again!

In an attempt to help you all reduce your stress levels through the holidays this year, I'm offering a few tips based on some general principles that I have become aware of through my training as a health professional.

Today's tip is one that nobody is going to like, but EVERYONE can benefit from:
Reduce your sugar intake.

Simple!  Or is it?

While it seems like a good idea all around, and we all know that skipping the doughnut with the coffee is always a good idea; however, it's a little more complicated than just throwing out the baked goods and candies.  Take a good look at the ingredients of some of the processed foods in your pantry and fridge.  And yes, they do sell "processed" foods at Whole Foods.  And a lot of processed foods have added sugar in varying forms.  Also, most "low fat" or "light" foods like salad dressings have added sugars, often in the form of high fructose corn syrup, etc.  And while I hate to admit it, sugar is sugar, and whether it's organic cane sugar, agave syrup, or high fructose corn syryp, it's still empty of any nutritional value.  So no, not all sugars are created equal, but they are all still bad for you in excess.

I read on WebMD (so it must be true) that the average American eats 22 teaspoons of sugar a day!  That's the equivalent of about 355 empty calories.  The article also said that the average female shouldn't exceed 6 teaspoons or about 100 calories of sugar and that the average man shouldn't exceed 9 teaspoons or about 150 calories.

In essence, cortisol, the stress hormone increses blood glucose by tapping into protein sources via gluconogenesis in the when we're stressed out, our blood sugar goes up on it's own, without the added sugar...  So when we're stressed out AND we eat a whole pie by ourselves, because that's what we do, it adds fuel to the fire.  That little sugar high we get for five minutes really wreaks havoc on our homeostasis.  We know this because we crash after. So think of eating sugar as consuming stress.  It's like we just invite it into our bodies.  And while there probably isn't a whole lot you can do about the stressful events of your day, or the holidays, you can do something about what you put in your mouth.  So in essence, you can reduce your stress by eating less sugar.

A few helpful tips:

Throw it away:  Go through your pantry and get rid of stuff that has the added sugar in the form of cane sugar, high fructose corn syrup, .  I actually found a can of BEANS that had sugar added.  Ew.  Why do beans need sugar?  Anyway, if you can part with the added sugars to everyday processed foods, you're halfway there.  Here's a helpful article to help identify the "hidden" sugars in processed foods.

Make your own salad dressing with olive oil, red wine vinegar (or vinegar of your choice) and dijon mustard.  I like to play around with ratios depending on how flavorful I'm feeling.  Use more oil for less flavor and more mustard for more.  Sometimes I just do plain old olive oil and fresh squeezed lemon.  It actually tastes better to me than bottled salad dressing.  I honestly can't even face most bottled salad dressings anymore.  Cold olive oil suplies the heart healthy omega-3 fatty acids that everyone is talking about and since you're not going to eat that piece of cake, you should absolutely indulge in a little bit of healthy fat.

Visit :  Katie has amazing healthier dessert recipies with vegan and gluten free options.  It takes a little preparation and possibly purchasing of healthier ingredients, but if you just can't let go of that after dinner sweet, at least 1. make it yourself with healthier ingredients and 2. indulge without the guilt and the stress. :)

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Wednesday, October 29th, 2014
9:50 am - Take a break
It's difficult for most of us to admit that we work too hard.  And even if we don't work too hard, our idea of a "break" is usually checking Facebook, or getting a cup of coffee.  When was the last time you actually sat still, with your eyes closed, for a solid 5 minutes at work?  Maybe that one time when you were comming down with a cold and you were trying to will yourself well?  Either way, this is something we just don't do at work and I think the culture needs to change.  By law, in the U.S. anyway, if you work more than 5 hours, you are entitled to a 15 minute PAID break every four hours.  So why don't we take these breaks?  This is really supposed to be IN ADDITION to the 30 minute lunch break that we actually don't get paid for.

Well guess what?  It's time to start taking these breaks, even if it's for only 5 minutes.

We don't take cigarette breaks anymore, since most people I know have quit smoking.  We don't NEED that extra cup of coffee, and if you do, that's something you might want to contemplate on a deeper level...but that's beside the point.

I challenge you to take a 5 minute break with your eyes closed in a comfortable seated position.  If it is impossible for you to do this at work because you work on your feet or you don't really have your own space to carry out this challenge in relative peace, you have no excuse.  Most work places have bathrooms with stalls.  Take a nice 5 minute crap break without actually taking a crap.  If you're totally grossed out by this prospect, see if you can find another secluded place where you won't be interrupted.

I find that it helps to have some music to listen to also.  This is also a nice time keeper so you'll be sure to sit for more than just 1 minute.  Get your ear buds, play a song that you absolutely LOVE from beginning to end and really listen to it.

I guarantee after you do this you'll be fresher and ready to face the task at hand.

I personally try to do this twice a day.  Sometimes it's hard to drop what I'm doing, but nine times out of ten, when I come back to it, I notice something that I missed before.

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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014
4:38 pm - The Case Against 8
Sunday was a very lazy day for me.  I was hungover and after going for a long run, in the ungodly sun, at a snail's pace, with my mother, I was ready to sit and rot on the couch for most of the afternoon.  At one point I even considered taking a nap, but failed to fall asleep.  It's so rare for me to actually be lazy, it actually felt kind of weird.

Either way, I happened upon the second half of The Case Against 8, the HBO Documentary about the gay couples who sued California to overturn the ban on gay marriage, which ultimately led to the overturning of DOMA.  I had wanted to see it anyway and was half expecting to turn it off and save it for when I could watch it from the beginning.  Needless to say, I watched it from the middle and I was struck by emotion throughout the whole thing.

I've never, myself, experienced homosexual feelings, but I'm an empathetic person and I can deeply feel the emotions of others.  I have always been accepting of my gay friends, neighbors, etc., and was raised that way as my mother always had gay and lesbian friends for as long as I can remember.

I think what ultimately brought me to tears watching this documentary was the level of hatred these people endured, putting themselves in the spotlight, standing up for their civil rights, for the rights that every other citizen should have.  It was absolutely appalling to see just how many people came out to say that they were wrong, evil, deranged, etc.  I can't believe that we're even still fighting this battle.  I feel like I personally haven't done enough to stand up for gay rights because I was so incredibly blind to their woes.  These are PEOPLE...friends, sons and daughters, parents, employees, members of churches, teachers, and most importantly, they are citizens of the United States!  It's unbelievable to me that I didn't realize what they truly have to endure!

I remember when Duncan and I were going through the immigration process and I was heartsick because there was a chance that the government would say, "sorry, we don't believe you two should be together..."  I was pissed because they had that power to do that, to send him back to the UK for us to try again another way.  It was heartbreaking and nerve racking.  Of course, it didn't happen that way, but there was a chance that it could have and I was appalled at even the sliver of a chance that I wouldn't be able to marry my husband. I should have realized that this is what gay people have to deal with only without as many happy endings.

The end of the documentary (no spoilers here...since you all know what happened if you have any idea what's been happening in the world) had them getting married at the court house.  I couldn't stop crying.  I couldn't imagine going through that.  That boiling up of emotion when you finally get to face your partner of several years and say, "I do" for real, legally, under the eyes of the government.

Now, about Hobby Lobby?  I have faith that most of the women in the US will stand up against this bullshit.  I saw a funny article that was talking about what it would be like if women dictated health care and suddenly decided to end coverage of Viagra... I can't even get started on this.  Why can't straight old white men get over themselves and leave everyone else alone?  And Hobby Lobby can suck it.  I hope they go out of business.

current mood: Angry

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Wednesday, June 25th, 2014
2:34 pm - Underworld
So Underworld is FINALLY reissuing and remastering Dubnobasswithmyheadman.  All I can say about that is....YAY!

I could listen to every song on that album endlessly and have definitely noticed how crappy the sound quality is.

Can you believe it's been 20 years?

I'm tempted to try to get tickets for the show and just throw caution and money to the wind and see if my husband wants to go visit his family in London in October...  Anyone want to spot me a couple Gs so I can go see my favourite band play my favourite album in London?

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Thursday, June 12th, 2014
10:52 am - Paradox
I've been thinking about the nature of human beings lately.  We're social creatures who feed on each other's energy.  A pre-programmed co-dependence runs deep in our psyche.  But the real truth is, we're solely responsible for our thoughts and emotions.  I know, on a surface level, one can say, "Well, how can I control my feelings?  It's impossible.  You're completely full of shit...etc. etc."

Yes, there's some validity to that, in that we think this way.  We think that other people make us feel certain things.  We all feel bad when bad things happen to good people.  This is all true.  We all cried when we fell down and scraped our knees as children and we all believed that being treated poorly by other people has molded us in some way.  We all have felt some level of pain, loss and rejection.  Yes, this must be true...and because we think it's true it is true, but it doesn't have to be.  That's enlightenment.

For social creatures to turn within themselves to find the truth and plant that seed of intention takes practice.  It's like a garden.  You can't just plant the seeds and expect them to grow, you have to water your garden, tend to it, turn over the soil, continue to care for it...and even then, sometimes the plants will die.  Don't despair, this journey is cyclical, like all things, and you're not always going to remember everything you know....but you do know everything there is to know....and you always have.

We were born into a dark age.  Sure, we're not as dark as we once were and perhaps there's a light at the end of the tunnel; however, it's not going to be reached in this life, at least not on a world-wide level.  On the personal level, that's up to you.  You can choose to continue being the victim of other people's ideas, etc....but you don't have to be.

An old flame once told me that I needed to be re-programmed (he was a computer programmer).  Not exactly the most romantic thing to say, but in the context he was trying to make me feel better.  At the time I was in a deep depression and though he turned out to be a huge douche, he taught me something...well, more like I learned a lesson and in the end, he was right.  You can never, ever truly control another person...even if you think you can, even if you try your hardest.  You can never ever make a person feel a certain way, if they don't want to feel that way; hence, it works in reverse.

So to those of you, like me, who are empathetic creatures; those who can relate and feed on other people's emotions, as if they were you're don't have to feel all of this.  Practice turning it off like a light switch.  Turn within yourself...that dark, warm, safe place where you have all the power in the universe at your fingertips.

Apparently enlightened people can choose when they are ready to die.  They close their eyes an leave their bodies.  That's how powerful our minds are.

None of this is real and sometimes that's a really nice reality.

current mood: contemplative

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Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
12:29 pm - Sugar Free
So we're getting to the final count down to my sister's wedding where I have to squeeze myself into a dress that's just a smidge too small.  I'm feeling a little puffy and have been feeding my face with cake, pie, candy, bread...etc and have been telling myself I deserve it because I've been training for the Broad Street 10 mile run, and I've been stressed and deparessed, which has just made things worse in the long run.

I've always wanted to try to cut out the bread and sugar but I'm so addicted, it's been REALLY hard.  Yesterday was day 1.  I was tempted by cake in the copy room, candy on EVERYONE'S desk, pie that I made myself over the weekend and vanilla ice cream that we bought to go with the blueberry pie that I made.  I microwaved a banana and put some straight up cinnamon on it after dinner and had that for my dessert.  It's almost a mental thing at this the meal isn't over until I've eaten something sweet.

Yesterday was hard because I felt tired for most of the day.  I couldn't stop yawning and just wanted some candy to give me a little kick.  I feel a little better today and actually notice a difference in my puffy hands and wrists...they have gone down a little and my rings don't feel tight anymore.

Granted, I came off a weekend binge and I also drank wine...a lot of wine...which always makes me puffy so just the lack of alcohol probably helped.

I really feel like there should be a sugar addicts anonymous.  I could use a sponsor....especially because temptation is EVERYWHERE!

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Monday, March 10th, 2014
4:22 pm - ew
A lady had an episode of EXPLOSIVE diarrhea all over my morning yoga class today.  It got on the floor and then there was a trail out the door and down the hall.  I don't normally have to deal with such occasions, so I was ill prepared.  I do work with senior citizens but I'm not in a nursing home, as some often think.  Needless to say, I did not handle it well....  I gagged, repeatedly, almost front of the rest of my class that were sitting in shock at what had just happened, waiting to resume the gentle yoga stretch that was supposed to start off their week.  I had to clean it up, at least off the fitness room floor, before we could go about class.  I managed to call housekeeping who came with masks and a carpet shampooer for the carpeted hallway.

Talk about a sh*tty Monday.

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Friday, February 28th, 2014
4:29 pm - Oh Journal how I've missed you!
For some reason I haven't been able to sign into Livejournal at work in two weeks!  It's very frustrating, but I've been somewhat busy so it's not like I've had all the time in the world to figure it out.  Turns out, I was able to log in after I left a comment on a stranger's journal.  Weird.  Anyway, yay!

I was going to sit here and write away for a long while, but the day got away from me.

It's no wonder I'm exhausted at the end of the never ends.  Somebody always needs something from me.  It's tough to continually be bombarded.  It's like anytime I have a thought, it's interrupted.  I've started thinking that this might be one of the reasons people get alzheimers.  They spend their lives having their thought processes interrupted by constant stimulation.  I sometimes feel like, at the end of the day, I couldn't tell you what I actually did, work-wise.  I also live my life this way.  I'm constantly interrupted by my phone, email, facebook, text.  It's like someone always wants something or needs something.  I really just want to hide.

In writing this post, I started at 2:00 and it's not 4:04, and I have had interruptions SINCE.  I'm ready to close my door and be done with interruptions.  I honestly am starting to wonder how I get ANYTHING done.  And now here it is 4:27... I should just quit trying to make this post in any way  interesting.  I'm off to start my weekend!  Woohoo!  Wine is needed for sure.

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Wednesday, January 29th, 2014
4:33 pm - Why I'm not watching the winter olympics
I hate to be a hater, but screw the Winter Olympics this year.  Not to sound Cold War, but I'm not a fan of Russia.  Aside from the humanitarian issues (anti-gay, anti-general human rights...etc) they are planning to capture or already have captured wild killer whales, beluga whales and of course dolphins to put on display in tiny tanks for the opening ceremony and are one of the biggest contributors to the capture and exploitation of WILD whales for entertainment.  They are apparently having a dolphin carry the Olympic torch across a tiny pool.

I met the president of Cetacean Society International and he's a pretty cool dude.  Apparently his organization is currently trying to raise money to purchase a Sea World orca and release her back into the wild.  This is not easy or cheap, and doesn't always socially work for the animal since they need and require their families or pods, and when they are raised in captivity they don't hunt, so they have to relearn this behavior.  There are some orcas that can re-integrate back into the wild, and there are others that simply can' Tilicum, the Sea World Orca that has killed three people.  He currently lives in solitary confinement in a small tank, doesn't perform, doesn't interact with humans or other whales and has his sperm harvested for breeding purposes...  It's so sad to me, I can't even begin to go into it.  If you want to know more about Tilicum and haven't seen the documentary "Blackfish", I highly recommend it.  Have tissues on hand...

As for the Olympics, watch this...

current mood: sad

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Monday, October 21st, 2013
3:32 pm - Annoyed...
I'm annoyed today.  I have a cold...and yes, I came to work...only because I feel like I have to.  Last week other people in my department were sick and they chose to come to work....sick.  So I can directly point fingers here!  I got this from someone who came to work sick LAST WEEK.  It really pisses me off that it is so frowned upon to stay home sick that I  honestly don't feel like I CAN take a day off and obviously some of my colleagues feel the same way, hence, we all got it and it just goes around and around.  STAY HOME IF YOU'RE SICK!  This culture of going to work sick is...well, sick!

And yes, it's only a little cold, but a little cold for me could be a really bad cold which could lead to pneumonia for a senior there's that.

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Friday, September 13th, 2013
4:43 pm - Oh Livejournal, how I've neglected you
Things have been alright in my world.  This summer was exceedingly busy.  I took on 8 weeks of a Zumba class on Tuesday nights and also subbed some Thursday night yoga classes, added on a regular Saturday morning yoga class and subbed and additional Saturday morning yoga class for a couple weeks.  I feel somewhat like a chicken with its head-cut-off.  (What an awful analogy...honestly).

Yoga teacher training has been decent.  I always find when I'm feeling a little off, stressed, or overwhelmed, I just need an evening at Yoga Life to bring me back to reality...and the reality being that our reality isn't what we think it is...but that's getting a bit deep for this post.

Next week at work I have the resident Talent Show.  After having a co-worker exclaim after last year's show that I shouldn't be the one doing all the work for this and that everyone in the department should be involved, I have found that it has primarily fallen on my expected.  Thankfully one of the other girls has been really helpful with the meetings and the reminders, and the notes, and the tech walk-through, and I can expect that at least 5 others from my department will be there on the night of the show so we will have two in the booth, two at the door and two back stage, including me.

The belly dancers are as ready as they are going to be, although, somewhat on edge.  I had to remind them that I'm the teacher and that they shouldn't try to be telling each other what to do.  This was after a cat fight almost broke out when I heard one resident mumble under her breath that she was going to punch another resident in the face if she told her what to do one more time after our rehearsal on Tuesday.

I'll be glad when it's always.

I also need to make a note to myself to not schedule these things the same week that the seasonal creative writing magazine comes out and the same week I need to finish next month's calendar.  (An activities girl is always thinking a month [or several] ahead).

Operation baby is back on, although no success yet.

My weight is still on track although I really do need to get on the scale. I haven't for 2 weeks... I have stopped trying to lose by doing weight watchers and am more focused on paying attention to what my body wants when its hungry.  I read a yoga book about eating...haha.  I'm pretty happy with where I am.  I mean, I'm 34 years old at this point, I'm never going to be a super model.  Anyway, my desire for refined sugar has gone down a little...not as much as I would have hoped.  I have definitely cut back on my desire for processed foods though.  Even bread doesn't taste as good as it used to.  I have been eating way more fruit than anyone ever should and I have definitely cut back on evening snacks and booze.  Although I found that the only thing that would help my head ache go away last night was a beer...haha.  Go figure, I'm of German decent.

Running and exercise have been on track as well.  I ran a personal best 5 miles in 38.50 on the treadmill yesterday.  I didn't even feel terrible after.  Today I ran 5 on the Schylkill Trail and managed a very comfortable 45 minute run while listening to the Fourth book of Game of Thrones on Audible.  I'm trying to run 5 to 6 times a week and since my Zumba schedule has lessened, I feel that I can't depend on that for my cardio, so I need to fit more running in again.  I always feel so good when I'm in good running shape.

We did get the house painted back in June and have been working on putting more ceiling fans up throughout the summer.  I also took down the granny curtains and put up something a little more modern looking in the Living Room.  We also had the electrician come in to add some more non-knob and tube outlets, so now there's one in each room of the house.  Yay!

So yeah, this post is pretty boring for you all to read...but my life is pretty boring.

current mood: happy

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Wednesday, June 12th, 2013
4:44 pm - I don't like facebook
I mean, yes, it's okay for filling people in on your whereabouts, what you ate for breakfast, what you hate more than anything, what annoys you...etc.

I'm kind of in a grouchy mood right now (hungry, tired, overworked) so don't mind me, but I feel like I'm constantly reminded of why I don't like people....and why I don't like to look at Facebook.

so if we're "real life friends" do me a favor and don't expect me to know everything you posted on facebook, because I have stopped looking...

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Thursday, January 17th, 2013
3:54 pm - Finding life
It's warm in my office in the afternoon.  I need to start setting periodic reminders to get up and stretch or walk.  By the time the work day is over, I feel like I've been stewing and my brain is slightly melted, and stuck to the inside of my skull.  There is a sort of post-work brain deadening that seems to happen every day.  I've noticed that the crisp winter air really feels good on my face and in my lungs as I take my first step into the evening after work.

I think with the warmth comes a slowing of the brain.  I could just lay my head down on my desk and sleep for the next hour before the end of the work day.

Thankfully, I actually do have some work to do.

Trying crossfit tonight for the first time.  Should be interesting...and should help with the additional 5 Christmas pounds I would like to lose.  Although if I am pregnant, all weight loss goals will be on hold and I will just work to maintain and only gain healthy baby weight, not Jessica Simpson baby weight.  Is she really pregnant again?  I swear I saw her on a Jennie Craig commercial a few weeks ago.  She looks like she's already gained 30 pounds since then.  

I can kinda relate, but wow.

Food is good.  Starvation makes me cranky...thus, weight loss is difficult.

current mood: okay

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Wednesday, December 19th, 2012
2:28 pm

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